From Dr. Aaron Skinner-Spain, DSW, LCSW-R
Maybe you came out years ago. Maybe your family “came around,” or they “acknowledge” you now in a way that you can attend family functions with your partner, and you’ve built the life you want for yourself despite the obstacles. And still, there are moments when you catch yourself full of anxiety when a friend doesn’t text back, a co-worker doesn’t greet you, someone on the sidewalk raises their voice, or you brace yourself before deciding to hold hands in public or when correcting someone about the sex of your partner.
Many LGBTQ+ people carry experiences of rejection. This can stem from family disapproval, bullying, religious shaming, and local and federal laws. They have had to keep going despite these frequent experiences, growing up in a world hostile to their existence. These experiences don’t simply fade away because time has passed and you now have that graduate degree or job, or you are making the amount of money you dreamed of making. Our nervous systems learned from what happened to us, especially when it happened early and frequently. Being “past it” in your head doesn’t always mean you’re past it in your body and spirit.
LGBTQ affirmative therapy or queer affirmative therapy can support you in understanding how the past continues to show up today and the reason it does. It can validate how the past shapes your self-esteem and where you get it, what you did and still do with the feelings it evokes, and help you understand how this has shaped your relationships with yourself and with those close to you and those you are getting to know. LGBTQ-affirming therapy can also help you understand how you navigate conflict and express yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you. You adapted to your environment and continue to do so, but you want to feel freer. LGBTQ affirmative therapy can help you feel more liberated. Healing from rejection is hard with a mental health professional who doesn't understand the terrain. At NYC Affirmative Psychotherapy, our LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ affirming therapists don't need your experiences translated or justified. You won't spend sessions explaining what it meant to grow up queer, trans, or questioning. You can start right where the healing begins.
What happened to you may have shaped you, but it doesn't have to define what comes next. Complete our intake form to get scheduled with one of our therapists today!